Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize