Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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