Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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