Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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