Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
