hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
