smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
