Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
