We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
