Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
