Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!