2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
