They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
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Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.