I wish my penis had an off switch
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
