He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
