So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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