I don't think brook has ever known best
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
