Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
