you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will be naked everywhere
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And then my night got REAL pukey
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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