scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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