Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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