He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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