"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
