rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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