we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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