A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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