If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
