Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Acid is not a monday night drug
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
