So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
