sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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