Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
