the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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