I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
