Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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