Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
