she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
