I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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