also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
