this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
