I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize