Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
