I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
