i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize