I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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