I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We are all done wearing pants today
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
