I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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