Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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