its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
