So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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