Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I understand Curling. That high.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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