So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
