This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
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