yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
