dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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