i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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