I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
