Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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